Everyone around me is dying

Everyone around me is dying.
Not all at once. Not dramatically. Quietly.
Like someone’s unscrewing the bolts from my world – one by one.

My aunt died.
My uncle died.
The neighbor who always had some fucking comment from across the yard – he died too.
Suddenly it’s too quiet. Way too quiet.
But not because life slows down.
It’s because there’s fucking no one left to talk.

First go the ones who used to carry you in their arms.
Then the ones who gave you advice you never asked for.
And then? Then it’s just you.
And one day you realize you’re the oldest one at the table.

You start getting old before you even realize you were ever young.
This isn’t some “every day is a gift” motivational bullshit.
It’s “every day is a reminder that someone else is gone.”
And if not today – then tomorrow.

At some point you stop asking “how’s he doing?”
Because you know the answer will be: cancer, heart attack, “just collapsed and never got back up.”
You start counting the ones still here.
And that fucking count keeps getting shorter.
Like the friend list of someone’s phone after they’ve died.

I don’t know when it started.
But I’m starting to feel like furniture from another era.
Still standing, still here – but fuck if anyone remembers what I’m even for.

Time doesn’t pass.
Time runs a purge.
It doesn’t heal – it rips.
It doesn’t soothe – it reminds.
It doesn’t bring new people – it takes the old ones away.

Everyone says time heals everything.
Bullshit.
Time just leaves you with nothing, until you stop feeling anything at all.
And then they call that “coming to terms with the loss.”
Beautiful, right?

And the worst part is, I’m not afraid of death.
I’m afraid that by the time I die, I’ll have nothing left to lose.
No people. No dreams. Not even fucking memories.
Because those fade too.
Even memory has an expiration date.

So don’t ask why I’m cynical.
Don’t ask why I don’t feel like “enjoying the moment.”
Try enjoying life when everyone’s fucking dying around you,
and you’re making coffee and posting memes to pretend everything’s fine.

Because life goes on, right?
Just don’t forget that it fucking does.