FriendZone – the plan B waiting for something to fuck up

Friendship between a woman and a man? It can exist. But not when one of them is hoping for something more, and the other side knows it perfectly well — and cynically uses it.

FriendZone isn’t “being close.” It’s a form of waiting. For a chance. For weakness. For a crisis. It’s mentally sitting on the bench, hoping the main player gets taken out of the game.

The guy in the FriendZone often puts himself there. He’s nice, present, always helpful. He’ll answer the phone at 3AM. Bring food. Listen to the drama about the boyfriend. And in his head, there’s only one thought: “If things don’t work out with him, maybe she’ll notice me.”

And the girl? Sometimes she really doesn’t see it. But most of the time — she knows exactly. And says nothing, because it’s convenient. Because it’s good to have a backup. Because if the current one hurts her, disappoints her, cheats — well, someone is already waiting. Warm, ready, helpful.

That’s not friendship. That’s strategy.

Now from the other side — the guy who’s actually with that girl. And he sees she surrounds herself with “friends.” She calls them, talks to them, they “help.” And he knows these guys aren’t around for no reason. And she knows too. But she doesn’t give them up. She doesn’t say “enough.” Because keeping them close gives her comfort.

And then the question shows up: Are you in a relationship with her — or with her and a whole list of backups?

FriendZone isn’t a place you want to be. It doesn’t give you respect. It doesn’t give you love. It gives you the illusion — that you’re close, that something might happen. Meanwhile… everything’s happening, just not with you.

And the worst part? Many guys stay in it. For years. Waiting. Dreaming. Until the girl gets into a new relationship — or disappears. And you’re left with nothing. Not even dignity.

It reminds me of a scene from an American stand-up show. The comedian asked a couple in the audience if they were together. She said: “No, we’re just friends.” He asked, “Who paid for the dinner?” — Of course, the guy. The comic kept going and asked: “So what does he get in return?” — Silence.

Then he turned to a group of girls at a nearby table, asked if any of them were single and liked that guy. One said: “He’s kinda cute.” So the comic said to the guy: “Go sit next to her then.” The guy smiled, moved over to the new girl. And that “friend”? She froze. Said nothing — but her face looked like she just lost her personal taxi, ATM, and rescue plan for the evening.

And that shows the truth: she doesn’t want him for herself — but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him either.

Because FriendZone isn’t a feeling. It’s a deal. Where one side takes everything, and the other waits for scraps.

A lot of girls like having options. They like having someone in reserve — “just in case.” But if you agree to be that — you need to understand one thing: you’re not the first choice. You’re plan B. And if she can keep you on the bench, she can drop you just as easily when something “better” shows up. If you’re okay with that — fine. But do it with your eyes open.

And if you’re the girl keeping a guy close “just in case” — ask yourself one question:
Would you be okay with your boyfriend doing the same with another girl?

Would you want him to have a “friend” he tells everything to, spends time with, and you know she’s into him?

If not — then why do you do it to others?
Just because you don’t want him for yourself doesn’t mean you have the right to block him.
Just because you don’t have the guts to be with him doesn’t mean he should be with no one.

Either you want him.
Or let him go.